How To Master Your Inner Dialogue

What we say to ourselves counts. It counts because this dialogue influences our actions, which in turn influences our lives.

But some of us are not even aware of this dialogue, let alone have the ability to control it. You see, our thoughts come from many places, our past experiences, our current circumstances, our future dreams, things people have told us, the media we consume, our habits..so many things flavour our thoughts, and at the same time, we are NOT our thoughts. It’s kind of like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, we have all this activity in our brain, but at the end of the day, we have to CHOOSE which thoughts we will accept, which ones we will dismiss, and therefore, what internal dialogue and language we will use.

It is important that we do not underestimate the power of our inner dialogue. If we have grown up telling ourselves “I’m not smart, I’m not smart, I’m not smart”, when it comes time to perform at a task we believe requires intellect, how well do you think we’ll do? Or maybe we won’t even attempt it at all. This language pattern will become a so-called truth we tell ourselves and continue to hamper our lives for as long as we keep this pattern running.

It is imperative that we become aware of these patterns that we run. It can also be helpful if we can reflect and identify where these patterns have come from. Maybe the “I’m not smart” pattern came from an old school teacher that was irresponsible and careless with his or her words. Maybe those words have struck an emotional chord with you and stuck with you ever since. Maybe these were the words of one of your parents — something that they told themselves, and really had nothing to do with you at all. It was a learned language and behavioural pattern that you adopted from them. Identifying and understanding where your language patterns come from can be a truly freeing experience. It can help us to identify why we speak to ourselves the way we do and make steps to change it.

The last step is to change this unwanted inner dialogue. How do we do that? The same way we developed the old one in the first place. Through practice and repetition. Every time you catch yourself repeating an old unwanted behaviour, stop, remember where it came from, and focus on the new language you are choosing. Soon enough, “I’m not smart” becomes “I am smart”, “I am capable” and “I am resourceful.” Over time the negative voice will get weaker and quieter until it is non-existent, and replaced with a more positive voice that has begun to grow louder.

This inner dialogue will serve us well in all areas of our lives, in our health, our wealth and our relationships. Learn to master this life skill and watch as your whole world seems just a little brighter, more positive and easier to manage.